
The “How do I ____” question most googled in each European country [1280×1174]
Slovenia? Are you okay?
They produce Žižek, of course they’re not
Damn, Germany, Italy, and Belarus dumb as shit, Romania racist as shit against Roma, Russia has already ascended to that higher plane, Croatia and Turkey suffer alike, Albania, Sweden, and France are all personally troubled, Poland is sweet and caring, and Portugal and Spain could work something out easily
And then there’s England reciting poetry in the school toilets or trying to cheat on an exam
KEEP THOSE JEANS ALIVE
Everybody knows the pain of shopping for a decent pair of jeans, and the even greater pain of losing a really good pair to a hole in the crotch. Sewing torn denim back together is not a thing that nature intended, because the world is a dark, cruel place.
But I wasn’t gonna stand for that! I’m playing God, I thought. I’m fixing these jeans, and the laws of nature can go fuck themselves. And then it worked. Here’s how to do it:
- Buy some Shoe Goo from your local CVS or something. It’s pretty cheap and you can glue basically anything with it. I glue the soles of my shoes back on with this stuff.
- Sacrifice some mistake jeans to make a patch, and glue that patch to the inside of your jeans. Glue it down real good. Do this in a well-ventilated area because Shoe Goo is toxic stuff until it dries.
- Let it cure for 24 hours, and then put your jeans back on and flip God the bird, because you have just performed a miracle. You have saved your favorite jeans from certain garbage-canning.
One tube of glue is enough to save a lot of jeans, plus some shoes on the side. The patch holds up pretty well in the washer/dryer, and is only a little stiffer than two layers of denim would be anyway. Boom.
You are angry about something. “Clam down,” I text you. You assume I have made a typo, but in fact I am holding a small soldier clam in my hands. He died so young. War is hell
Did Ernest Hemingway write this post
Folks, deserts are not “empty” or “lifeless” they are often teeming with beautiful and incredible life adapted to conditions of extreme dryness. The widespread idea that deserts are lifeless or that the wildlife there isn’t important is something that businesses of all types (mining companies, housing developers— especially true here in AZ— and even commercial farmers) take advantage of this in order to continue exploiting desert habitats.
Since childhood I’ve been faithful to monsters. I’ve been saved and absolved by them because monsters are the patron saints of our blissful imperfections.
Humans aren’t that special
I know I have a contributed to the Humans Are Space Orcs trope, but guys? So many of the things y’all come up with for what makes us weird/special to the aliens isn’t actually particular to humans.
I mean, any level of intelligence in an animal gives them access to the majority of human quirks. Dolphins get impatient and go “surfing” even though it’s dangerous to them, purely because it’s fun. Crows and ravens have been known to request help from humans when they can’t get themselves out of whatever mess. And pack-bonding? It’s kind of a defining trait for most canines.I love you guys but…this human supremacy has to stop somewhere.
tbh why do i need a job when i could instead be a maenad and party in the woods with a bunch of ladies, drink lots of wine, hang out with queer icon dionysus, and tear from limb to limb any person who tries to bother me



























