today i got some columbian food in the back of a haunted mall how was everyone else’s day
ok i will tell the tale
so im taking this spanish class, spanish professor wanted us to go out to eat to practice. im all prepared, i punch in the address and drive 2 the place. turns out this place isnt really a restaurant so much as it is a small habitable zone at the back of a vast, empty mall
there was dead silence and darkness. 90% of the outlets were shut down and blocked off
it was 2 o’clock on a Saturday, but this mall was COMPLETELY barren. an air of powerful curses hung in the air. none of the escalators were working, i had to hike up one like stairs
of course once i got to the restaurant i had a nice time and some p good food and a guy with a saxophone serenaded us with covers of pop hits
my freinds, it was surreal
so my plans got really mixed up today and i decided to revisit the cursed mall while i was in the area! it seems things have gotten even stranger
for the most part, it is still the creepy empty mall it has always been. but this time even less stores were open, even the columbian restaurant was closed.
the food court, which was slightly open before, was utterly barren, and for some reason slightly sped-up mexican sounding music played over the completely empty venue
this was a particularly strange outlet, where instead of the remains of a store, there was a neatly set up classroom in the display window
The Secret Door could take you anywhere in the world. Only unlike completely randomised websites that drop you in the middle of the Australian outback, it’s likely to take you somewhere really, really cool.
it took me to the horizon of a city. and then i looked around and i realized…
it was a miniature city
people were standing around it and all this time i was thinking it was a real city
i got scared there for a moment
it dropped me IN THE OCEAN in front of a manta ray
I am in some turkish baths
Muscular dudes and ladies are looking at me
I ENDED UP IN LEGOLAND
i think i should get points for recognising it instantly
EDIT: omg now i’m in a garden centre in Worcestershire
I am in a leather bag shop.
I AM IN A GLORIOUS CAVE IN OKINAWA
HERE IS WHERE I SHALL CONSTRUCT MY SUPERVILLAIN LAIR
it took me to a thrift store, a hiking trail, and then a candy store.
IT’S LIKE IT KNOWS ME
OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING.
I landed in the Grand Canyon, then the Inuit Museum (I think), then a a bar?!?! *click more*
I’m in a DIY store…
….
A DIY STORE COME ON
This is the ideal procrastination while having to study for exams (edit: it just took me to Tate Britain, an aquarium, a deserted railway in Japan and the cutest Mexican restaurant ever)
It dropped me on top of a high bridge in Japan, then on train tracks in the Swiss Alps, then into a comic store, and then in… this…
I went to a monkey sanctuary and the White House. Which…is the same thing, honestly.
The first place it took me to was the Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk, one of my favorite places to visit as a kid, and where I’ve been wanting to go for a while!
He didn’t move until the very last second and I thought he was some kind of cardboard cutout
why do i feel like the entire room is some kind of trillion year old eldritch god who has, up until now, only ever dwelled inside of a black hole where the universe is eternally both beginning and ending before its not-eyes, and it’s just been lounging around doing whatever the eldritch equivelent of jacking off is. why do i feel as if each individual part of this whole scene is just a facet of one whole horrific being. this is exactly what would happen if some kind of eon old ancient alien being was trying to court you through absorbing you into its weird mindscape and had done a 3 second root around inside your entire mind while attempting to roughly cover the bases of Human Courtship. this is petrifying. this instills a sense of vicseral fear in every cell in my fucking body.
there is a noticeable difference in position in his head for the last third of the video compared to the beginning. i cannot find any indication that his head moves throughout the entire video. his facial muscles don’t so much as twitch. i can’t tell whether or not i can see him breathing, or if i’m actually looking so hard that my brain, in all its fucking kindness, is giving me an illusion to comfort myself and/or keep my medulla from combusting. what the fuck is this. i have worked with human beings. i was born from human beings, and spend most of my time around human beings. i have been a human being for all of my life. that, right there? there isn’t a sledgehammer in this universe to clock my brain hard enough into believing for one nanosecond that that is a human goddamn being.
do you ever just sit around and think I’m in my twenties.
smug thinkpiece writer: “the internet is about the sound bite, the tweet, tiny fragments of information that only take two or three seconds to consume”
me, thinking back to the 5000-word tumblr post i scrolled past yesterday where two classicists, three high schoolers, and a witch all got in a very pointless argument about hades and persephone or shakespeare or something: uh,
It was designed as an impregnable deep-freeze to protect the world’s
most precious seeds from any global disaster and ensure humanity’s food
supply forever. But the Global Seed Vault,
buried in a mountain deep inside the Arctic circle, has been breached
after global warming produced extraordinary temperatures over the
winter, sending meltwater gushing into the entrance tunnel.
The vault is on the Norwegian island of Spitsbergen and contains
almost a million packets of seeds, each a variety of an important food
crop. When it was opened in 2008, the deep permafrost through which the
vault was sunk was expected to provide “failsafe” protection against “the challenge of natural or man-made disasters”.
But soaring temperatures in the Arctic at the end of the world’s hottest ever recorded year
led to melting and heavy rain, when light snow should have been
falling. “It was not in our plans to think that the permafrost would not
be there and that it would experience extreme weather like that,” said
Hege Njaa Aschim, from the Norwegian government, which owns the vault.
most boss ass bitch moment of all mcu was when yondu killed everyone who betrayed him with a single arrow to the sound of “come a little bit closer” playing in the background
daisychainnihilism 